Solo

"Mano-a-mano is a Spanish construction meaning "hand to hand" . It was used originally for bullfights where two matadors alternate competing for the admiration of the audience.
Current Spanish usage describes any kind of competition between two people where they both compete trying to outdo each other."

Let me just give you this caveat (reader beware this post will include a "part 2"), there may be rambling here..feel free to pass this post. I convinced myself I would never post about being single. So, now you know where this is going. Sometimes you just give in, break, you know? This morning thoughts gushed through my mind about being 32 and what another single man my age could be thinking in his perdicament. He's not thinking about carrying a child into his 30's, or making a delicious meal for more than ONE person to sit down and enjoy, or amazing banana-nut chocolate chip muffins for breakfast, or even yard work, taking out the trash, you get the idea. I love all these things, with the exception of taking out the trash. I'm sure his thoughts are not remotely close to mine, so what is he thinking anyway? Even if I was in a melting pot of other single people my age it wouldn't change my situation, if you can call it that, there would be the questions racing through my mind about what it means to still be single at my age. As thankful as I am for so many things, people, my family, my job, the list goes and on, there are moments of  bewilderement and question as I look around me. Now, with that being said, there are prospects, somewhere,as one from the Victorian era may say, but lets leave that just where it is, somewhere. Don't get me wrong, thankfully my joy remains moment by moment, tears are chased away by laughing, words of encouragement are constantly in my ear, so I know Prince Charming awaits, or runs, or whatever he does, and will know when he finds me. My bestfriend reminded me how many years I've been saying "it's just a season" the other day. A realization occurred to me that maybe this season should come to an end. I don't like it, and like the other four on the calendar, it can change. Love is a gift right? Shouldn't falling in love be too? In whatever lens you're reading this I hope that you see my point here. I carry an unexplainable joy and trust and hope in the Giver of love itself. A lifetime is ahead of me and there is one behind me as well.. "oh ye(me) of little faith.." and yet if you've made it this far single like me or alongside me in your stage of life, it's not the end...to be continued.

"We must not be so ready to fancy ourselves intentionally injured. We must not expect a lively young man to be always so guarded and circumspect. It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us. Women fancy admiration means more than it does."

-Pride and Prejudice-Chapter 24: